“I Don’t Know What I Want Anymore…”

It’s one of the most vulnerable things we can say.

Maybe you’ve whispered it to yourself in the car, cried it into your pillow, or shared it with a friend over coffee. It’s the quiet ache that tends to show up somewhere in the middle of life, often when the titles and roles you’ve carried for so long start to feel hollow.

You've been the achiever. The caretaker. The fixer. The one who “has it together.” But now everything feels fuzzy. The goals you used to chase don’t light you up anymore. The routines that used to keep you grounded feel like cages. And no matter how many productivity hacks or self-help books you read, nothing seems to stick.

If this resonates with you, I want you to know something important:

There is nothing wrong with you.

You haven’t failed. You’re not lazy or lost or broken. You’re waking up. And that feeling of “I don’t know what I want” isn’t a problem; it’s an invitation. An invitation to stop chasing someone else’s definition of success and start listening to the quiet voice of your soul.

Why You Feel Disconnected From Your Desires

Most of us weren’t raised to ask, “What do I truly want?” We were trained to ask:

• What’s expected of me?

• What makes the most sense?

• What’s the responsible thing to do?

Over time, that constant performing and pleasing pulls us further away from our inner voice. By the time midlife hits, many of us have spent decades building beautiful lives that don’t actually feel like ours. So when the roles start to shift—when the kids grow up, the career plateaus, the relationship changes—you’re left with a big, echoing question:

If I’m not who I’ve always been… who am I now?

The Good News: You Already Have the Answer - Within You

Here’s what most people miss: That sense of emptiness or disconnection isn’t a sign you’ve lost your way. It's a sign you’re finally being called back to yourself.

You do know what you want. Or rather—your soul does. You just haven’t had the space, support, or system to hear it clearly.

Modern life is loud. Between building a career, raising a family, managing a home, staying connected online, and living up to everyone else’s expectations, your inner voice gets drowned out. That noise becomes so normal, we barely notice it. But midlife has a way of quieting the external chaos. And in that space… something sacred happens. Your soul starts whispering again.

You begin to notice the flickers of desire, the restlessness in your spirit, the intuitive nudges asking for more. More meaning. More authenticity. More alignment.

And the good news? You don’t have to overhaul your life overnight. You just have to start listening.

So What Can You Do Right Now?

If you're in that foggy, uncomfortable in-between—where you know the old life doesn't fit but the new one hasn't fully formed yet—here are 3 practical steps to start finding your way:

1. Shift from “Figuring It Out” to “Feeling It Out”

When you’re disconnected from what you want, trying to think your way to clarity can backfire. Instead of analyzing or strategizing, tune in. Get quiet. Get present.

👉 Try this: Set a timer for 5 minutes. Put your hand on your heart, close your eyes, and ask:

“What do I need right now?” Let whatever comes up be okay. You might might be surprised by what you hear when you finally stop talking over yourself.

2. Notice What Drains You vs. What Energizes You

Your soul is always speaking; it’s just not always using words. One of the easiest ways to start reconnecting with your truth is by noticing how you feel in your body during different moments of your day.

👉 Try this: Create a simple 2-column list. Label one column “Drains Me” and the other column “Energizes Me”. Every day for a week, jot down moments that felt life-giving versus soul-sucking. Don’t overthink it. Let patterns reveal themselves. Sometimes your desires are hiding in plain sight.

3. Get Curious About Desire Again

Many women in midlife have spent so long focused on what they’re "supposed" to want that they’ve forgotten how to want anything for themselves at all. Desire can feel selfish. Or indulgent. Or even dangerous. But here's the truth:

Desire is the language of your soul.

👉 Try this journaling prompt:

“If no one would judge me, and nothing bad would happen, I would admit that I want…”

Let yourself answer freely. Even if it feels silly. Even if you don’t know how to make it happen. Give your soul permission to speak.

If You’re Ready to Go Deeper…

These practices can help you start listening to your inner voice again. But if you're ready to go deeper—to uncover what your soul truly desires in every area of your life and create a plan to actually live it—that’s where my work comes in.

I created The 12 Guiding Stars System for women just like you—smart, capable, soul-searching women who are ready to stop living on autopilot and start designing a life that finally feels like home.

🌟 The 8-week summer session is enrolling now through July 6

📖 Includes my Constellation Map workbook, weekly video lessons, live group coaching, and email access to me. Claim your spot here.

💬 Prefer private support? Book a discovery call and we’ll explore 1:1 coaching together

You don’t need to know exactly what you want yet. You just need to be willing to start listening.

Your clarity is waiting. Let’s find it—together.