The True Meaning of Freedom: Reclaiming Desire and Dismantling the “Shoulds”

What if everything you were taught about what should make you happy is exactly what’s keeping you unhappy?

We’re raised in a world that defines freedom as external - financial success, career prestige, or the ability to travel on a whim. But too often, these ideals are just well-packaged versions of societal programming. We spend decades chasing checklists someone else wrote for us, only to arrive at a place that feels empty or misaligned.

Real freedom isn’t about escaping responsibility or having unlimited choices. It’s about daring to remember who you were before the world told you who to be.

In my work with the 12 Guiding Stars System, I teach that our deepest desires aren’t frivolous; they're soul-coded. They’re not random wants; they’re invitations. Invitations to reclaim authenticity, to shed layers of conditioning, and to begin building a life that reflects who you really are - not who you were told to become.

Yet many of us feel disconnected from our own desires. Why? Because we’ve been taught to ignore them. From childhood, we’re subtly (and sometimes not-so-subtly) rewarded for fitting in, for being "good", for not asking too many questions. Over time, we internalize the idea that freedom is dangerous, desire is selfish, and authenticity is risky. 

But what freedom really is is reclaiming your right to want what you want? To feel what you feel. To design a life that makes sense to you - even if it makes no sense to anyone else... 

This might look like:

*        Leaving a career that impresses everyone but that isn't fulfilling you

*        Choosing rest over hustle

*        Starting something new in midlife, just because your soul said, “Yes, this.”

*        Saying no to what drains you, even if you once said yes with pride

True freedom begins when you give yourself permission to question the script. To say: What if I don’t want what they told me I should? What if my version of success, joy, or purpose looks entirely different?

The moment you start asking those questions, you’re shaping your own definition of freedom.

I’ll be diving deeper into this topic at the upcoming Say Yes to Yourself Summit on August 5 and 6. It’s a powerful gathering of women who are each embracing freedom in their own unique way - and you’re invited! Visit The Phineas Wright House to register.

Then take some time to reflect on this journal prompt:

Where in your life are you living a “should” instead of a soul-guided yes?

Your answers might just change everything.